Review: But I Love Him by Amanda Grace

Title: But I Love Him
Author: Amanda Grace
Publisher: Flux
Pages: 264
Release date: May 8th 2011
Genre: Contemporary YA
Source: Bought at The Book Depository
Find out more: Amazon ; Goodreads

Goodreads description:

At the beginning of senior year, Ann was a smiling, straight-A student and track star with friends and a future. Then she met a haunted young man named Connor. Only she can heal his emotional scars; only he could make her feel so loved — and needed. Ann can't recall the pivotal moment it all changed, when she surrendered everything to be with him, but by graduation, her life has become a dangerous high wire act. Just one mistake could trigger Connor's rage, a senseless storm of cruel words and violence damaging everything — and everyone — in its path.
This evocative slideshow of flashbacks reveals a heartbreaking story of love gone terribly wrong.

First sentence:

I lie in pieces on the floor.

My rating: 4 out of 5 stars

First off, I love the cover of But I Love Him, and I love the whole thing with the heart made of sea glass. It's so beautiful and sad at the time, just like the book.

Even though the topic is fascinating, I was weary of reading But I Love Him because it's written chronologically in reverse. I didn't think it'd be possible for the reader to understand Ann's and Connor's relationship if you don't get to see how it started out in the beginning, and I didn't understand how there could be any real progress if the novel starts out at the lowest point of the relationship. But I had nothing to worry about. Writing this chronologically in reverse is actually pretty genius.

 Even though whe didn't see the "happy" beginning of Ann's and Connor's relationship until later, I could really understand Ann from the first page on, which I didn't think would have been possible. The writing is amazing. So vivid and beautiful, I felt like I was right there with Ann. I felt her struggle, hoping she'd just leave him and not let him treat her like that, but also wanting her to give Connor another chance and help him work out his problems so they could live happily after. I was just as torn as Ann was while reading But I Love Him. It made me understand abusive relationships so much more - it all just seems so real, so scary. I never knew before what something like that can do to a person, but Ann's broken-ness is utterly believable.

Connor is a great, complex character too. Even though I hate myself for it, I could understand him, too, at least to some extent. No, nothing can justify what he does to Ann, but I still felt for him because of his past - after all, he is a victim, too. I also enjojyed the whole storyline with Ann's family. The subtlety with which Ann's father's death and its effect on Ann and her mother was handled is great and added a whole other dimension to the novel. I felt Ann's pain of losing her father and somehow losing her mother, too.

You might think it's strange to have how Ann and Connor met and started dating and all of that at the end of the book, but it's not (at least it wasn't for me). I really enjoyed that part. There's just something so heartbreaking about reading their innocent romance, knowing what will happen later on.

***The next paragraph contains spoiler-ish information!***
I do have one problem with this novel, though. I have no idea how you could change this, since like I said, I like the idea of the chornologically reverse order, but that made it basically impossible to have any type of solution for Ann's situation. I don't mean solution as in "this is what Ann has to do, and now everything will be perfect", since obviously there is no solution like that, but I would have liked to know more about Ann's decision, and what happens afterwards. I would have liked to see how Ann's mom helps her, and how she lives on after her decision.

Despite the lack of resolution, But I Love Him is a great book, and an important book, really making you understand the issue of abusive relationships, an issue I, for one, would like to read more about in contemporary YA. It's so well-written it makes you understand and feel for each of the characters, even when you don't want to. You should definitely read it!

In My Mailbox #18

In My Mailbox is a weekly meme hosted by Kristi at The Story Siren where you can talk about the books you bought or received this week.

So this week I got...

When It Happens by Susane Colasanti
(Amazon / Goodreads)

Sara and Tobey couldn't be more different. She is focused on getting into her first-choice college; he wants to win Battle of the Bands. Sara's other goal is to find true love, so when Dave, a popular jock, asks her out, she's thrilled. But then there's Tobey. His amazing blue eyes and quirky wit always creep into her thoughts. It just so happens that one of Tobey's goals is also to make Sara fall in love with him. Told in alternating points of view, Sara and Tobey's real connection will have everyone rooting for them from the minute they meet!

I've heard great things about this author, and the cover is adorable!

Playing Hurt by Holly Schindler
(Amazon / Goodreads)

Star basketball player Chelsea "Nitro" Keyes had the promise of a full ride to college-and everyone's admiration in her hometown. But everything changed senior year, when she took a horrible fall during a game. Now a metal plate holds her together and she feels like a stranger in her own family.
As a graduation present, Chelsea's dad springs for a three-week summer "boot camp" program at a northern Minnesota lake resort. There, she's immediately drawn to her trainer, Clint, a nineteen-year-old ex-hockey player who's haunted by his own traumatic past. As they grow close, Chelsea is torn between her feelings for Clint and her loyalty to her devoted boyfriend back home. Will an unexpected romance just end up causing Chelsea and Clint more pain-or finally heal their heartbreak?

I loved A Blue So Dark by this author, and while Playing Hurt sounds really different, I'm sure I'll enjoy it too!

By the Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead by Julie Anne Peters
(Amazon / Goodreads)

Daelyn Rice is broken beyond repair, and after a string of botched suicide attempts, she’s determined to get her death right. She starts visiting a website for “completers". While she’s on the site, Daelyn blogs about her life, uncovering a history of bullying that goes back to kindergarten. When she’s not on the Web, Daelyn’s at her private school, where she’s known as the freak who doesn’t talk. Then, a boy named Santana begins to sit with her after school while she’s waiting to for her parents to pick her up. Even though she’s made it clear that she wants to be left alone, Santana won’t give up. And it’s too late for Daelyn to be letting people into her life…isn’t it?

This one has been on my wishlist for ages. The cover is great, in a very creepy, mesmerizing way (look at the girl's eyes!).

What did you get in your mailbox this week?

Review: Sweethearts by Sara Zarr

Title: Sweethearts
Author: Sara Zarr
Publisher: Little, Brown Young Readers
Pages: 224
Release date: February 1st 2008
Genre: Contemporary YA
Source: Bought at The Book Depository
Find out more: Amazon ; Goodreads

As children, Jennifer Harris and Cameron Quick were both social outcasts. They were also each other's only friend. So when Cameron disappeared without warning, Jennifer thought she'd lost the one person who would ever understand her. Now in high school, Jennifer has been transformed. Known as Jenna, she is popular, happy, and dating—everything "Jennifer" couldn't be. But she still can't shake the memory of her long-lost friend.
When Cameron suddenly reappears, they both are confronted with memories of their shared past and the drastically different paths their lives have taken.

First sentence:

A dripping faucet.

My rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Wow. I really enjoyed Once Was Lost and Story of a Girl by Sara Zarr, but this one blew my mind. There are so many beautiful messages in this book, so many emotions it evoked, I don't even know where to start. The description sounds only okay, at least for me, and I probably wouldn't even have read it had I not previously read a Sara Zarr novel. But it's so much more than the synopsis tells you. I don't even know how to explain it, it's just more.

The writing is great, like in Once Was Lost and Story of a Girl. Beautiful and vivid, it creates such a rich atmosphere, sad and beautiful and hopeful at the same time.

I loved the characters in this novel. Jenna is such a relatable character, so complex and dynamic. So is Cameron, but both are still utterly realistic characters. Their relationship is... I don't even know how to describe it - I don't think any word could do that relationship justice. Their bond is stronger than any relationship I've read about, as far as I can remember. Since this story is about Jenna and Cameron, the other characters aren't as fully-developed, but they're still realistic and easy to imagine. I especially like Alan's character.

Generally, I do not like preachy books, but I still want novels to have some kind of message. That's really hard to balance, but Sara Zarr does so perfectly. So many serious topics (child abuse, bullying,...) are addressed, and the story sends such subtle messages just by showing what Cameron and Jennifer have been through, without becoming a preachy "issue book".

What I loved most about Sweethearts are the emotions it evoked in me. No, it's not the most tragic story I've read, but there's just something about the writing and the depiction of raw emotion that had me feeling every single thing Jenna felt. Especially the scenes written from a young, innocent Jennifer's point of view are heartbreaking. I bawled while reading the last 20 pages or so, even though it's not really a sad ending - it's actually pretty hopeful. But there's just something so heartbreaking about Jenna's and Cameron's story, I was crying so hard I couldn't see the letters anymore by the end of it.

My one problem with Sweethearts (and this is really just a teeny-tiny problem) is how often Jenna talked about how much homework she has. Yeah, that's part of teenage life, but it's not exactly something interesting to read about, so it annoyed me how often that's mentioned. But like I said, that's petty and probably the smallest problem I've ever had with a book, not even really worth mentioning.

Obviously, I highly recommend Sweethearts! I loved all of Sara Zarr's novels, but this one is my new favorite. An absolutlely fantastic book - with great writing and characters, and evoking amazing emotions. Everything about Sweethearts is simply beautiful.

This or That with Jennifer Jabaley (Crush Control Blog Tour)

My This or That interview is part of The Teen Book Scene's blog tour for Crush Control by Jennifer Jabaley. You can find out more about the tour here. Make sure to visit all the other stops if you'd like to know more about Crush Control!

General This or That questions:

Summer or winter?

Summer. Definitely.

Vanilla or chocolate?

Vanilla if it's ice cream or cake. Chocolate if it's icing or hot chocolate from Starbucks :)

Cats or dogs?

Dogs, although I like both.

Day or night?

Day, I'm sooo not a night owl.

Coffee or tea?

Coffee - light and sweet. Although I do like iced tea as well.

Movies or TV shows?

Hmmm. That's tough. I love watching TV series on DVD - I think that's my favorite. I like being able to watch several episodes back to back.

Outdoors or indoors?

I'm absolutely an outdoor girl.

Bookish This or That questions:

Hardcover, paperback or e-book? 

Paperback. Although my best friend keeps insisting if I just TRY an ebook, I'll love it.

Reading or writing?

Well, I'm ALWAYS reading something (and usually listening to a different book on audio) but I do take breaks from writing, so I guess I'd pick reading.

YA or adult fiction? (for reading, not writing) 

I think I go through spurts. Over this past winter I read a ton of YA, but right now I'm reading adult fiction. I vascilate.

Typing on the computer or traditional writing on paper?

I write long hand in a spiral bound notebook with a gel pen. Very old school :)

Thanks for the great answers!

Keep your eye out for Crush Control, which will be released June 23rd!

Crush Control by Jennifer Jabaley

(Amazon / Goodreads)

Goodreads description:

Willow has spent most of her life as her mother's sidekick in a popular Las Vegas hypnotism show. So when she and her mom move back to their sleepy southern hometown to start over, she thinks she's in for a life of quiet normalcy. Except that her new life turns out to be anything but, when she kinda sorta hypnotizes Quinton, the hottest guy on the football team, to fall madly, deeply, head over heels in love with her. But what started out as an innocent way to make her best friend, Max, jealous soon gets way out of hand, and Willow begins to wonder if the mind - and more importantly, the heart - is something you can really control.

Review: I'm Not Her by Janet Gurtler

Title: I'm Not Her

Author: Janet Gurtler

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire

Pages: 320

Release date: May 1st 2011

Genre: Contemporary YA

Source: Bought at The Book Depository

Find out more: Amazon ; Goodreads
 
Goodreads description:

Tess is the exact opposite of her beautiful, athletic sister. And that’s okay. Kristina is the sporty one, Tess is the smart one, and they each have their place. Until Kristina is diagnosed with cancer. Suddenly Tess is the center of the popular crowd, everyone eager for updates. There are senior boys flirting with her. Yet the smiles of her picture-perfect family are cracking and her sister could be dying. Now Tess has to fill a new role: the strong one. Because if she doesn’t hold it together, who will?

First sentence:

No matter how much I don't want to care, it's not easy being stranded alone in the middle of a crowded room, like the ugliest dog at the animal shelter.

My rating: 4 out of 5 stars

First off, I love the cover of I'm Not Her - the colors are just so beautiful! And so is the actual book. The writing is incredible - beautiful, rich and vivid, which the first sentence shows perfectly, in my opinion. The characters are complex and well-written. From the first page on, it's easy to relate to Tess and her problems, even before the whole cancer-story starts. She has a great voice, touching and funny at the same time. I really enjoyed reading about her and her art and her relationships with others (especially Nick and Clay).

The other characters are great as well. All of the descriptions I'd read before reading I'm Not Her made it sound like Kristina was going to be the stereotypical "popular girl" - superficial and all of that, but that's not the case at all. Well, obviously, she is the popular girl, but  she's so much more than that too - I loved reading about how she deals with having cancer, and even though I'm in no position to judge whether or not the way she handled her situation is realistic, it definitely seemed realistic to me. The relationship between the sisters is great and relatable too - complex and dynamic. Even though both of Tess's and Kristina's parents annoyed me, the way they dealt with their daughter's disease seems realistic as well. I enjoyed reading about the different ways each member of the family handled the situation. Jeremy is a great character as well - he's so cute!

***This paragraph contains spoilers!***

My only real problem with I'm Not Her are the developments later on in the story. I understand there has to be some kind of character growth for Tess, but to be honest, I liked her better in the beginning than at the end. Yes, it's good for her to gain confidence, but she seemed kind of conceited to me towards the end, screaming at her father how great her art is. I would have liked to know more about Kristina's growth after the amputation. I'm not sure how I feel about Jeremy's death - yes, there has to be some kind of development in that storyline as well, but having Jeremy die seemed unnecessarily tragic to me - like the author wrote his death just to have something tragic happen. The only development I liked is the one between Tess, Nick and Clay!

I have two more little problems with I'm Not Her. The first is the title - the title I'm Not Her gives the reader (or at least me) the impression that the realtionship between Tess and Kristina is bad, which I don't think does their bond justice. It seems like it's about a girl trying to break out of her sister's shadow, but the book is about much more than that. The other problem is the...well, I don't really know what to call it - I mean the snippet of the book that's copied to the first page - is that called a prologue?... Anyways, I think that snippet is very misleading and confusing and made me not have any hope throughout the novel. I feel weird about criticizing that, since it's not even the author's fault (I think), but it doesn't seem right to me to manipulate the reader like that.

Despite the little problems I had with the novel, I'm Not Her is a great read with beautiful writing and complex characters. I'm looking forward to Janet Gurtler's next novel, If I Tell, which sounds great as well!